Choose couples therapy when the problem sits between you, such as communication, trust or recurring fights, and both of you will attend. Choose individual therapy when the problem sits mostly inside one person, such as anxiety, past trauma or deciding whether to stay, or when you cannot safely do joint work. At Love Answers, we read the studies behind relationship advice, and in the couples therapy vs individual therapy decision, some people end up doing both.
Individual therapy is also where you start when your partner will not come. You can start it on your own and keep the offer of joint sessions open while you go. According to provider cost guides, out-of-pocket couples sessions in the US commonly cost about $100 to $250 each as of 2026, though estimates vary, so the budget can shape the choice too.
If you are afraid of your partner, couples therapy is usually not recommended while abuse is happening. Use individual support and an advocate instead by calling the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or texting START to 88788. In an emergency, call 911.
Short Answer
Couples therapy fits problems that sit between you, like communication, trust or the same fight on repeat, as long as both of you will attend. Individual therapy fits problems that sit mostly inside one person, like anxiety, past trauma or deciding whether to stay, and it is the right choice whenever joint sessions are not safe for you.
What Each Format Works On
Couples therapy puts you, your partner and one therapist in the same session, and the relationship itself is what you work on. You both hear everything that gets said. The work centers on problems between you, such as communication, trust and recurring fights.
Common approaches include the Gottman Method, from the Gottman Institute, and Emotionally Focused Therapy. You do not need to pick an approach before you book. Pick the format first.
Individual therapy is you and one therapist, and the work centers on what is going on inside you. That can be anxiety, trauma from your past, or the question of whether to stay. Your partner never has to agree to it, so you can start on your own.
In a normal week, the two formats look different. Couples therapy means finding one time that fits two calendars, then sitting in the same room or on the same video call and hearing your partner’s side out loud. Individual therapy means one calendar and a room where you can say what you have not said at home.
Couples Therapy vs Individual Therapy Side by Side
One difference between the two formats is who hears what you say. The table lines up the rest.
| Feature | Couples therapy | Individual therapy |
|---|---|---|
| Who attends | You, your partner and one therapist | You and one therapist |
| What you work on | Problems between you: communication, trust, recurring fights | Problems inside one person: anxiety, past trauma, deciding whether to stay |
| Goal | Change how the two of you deal with each other | Change how you handle your own feelings and choices |
| Confidentiality | Your partner hears everything you say in session | Your partner is not in the room |
| What you can say | What you are willing to say with your partner listening | Doubts, anger or plans you are not ready to share with your partner |
| When it fits | Both of you will attend and nobody is being abused | Your partner will not come, the problem is mostly yours, or joint work is unsafe |
| Cost | About $100 to $250 a session out of pocket in the US as of 2026, higher in expensive metro areas; insured couples often pay a copay | No sourced 2026 figure on this page; ask each therapist for their fee |
| Main risk | Usually not recommended while abuse is happening | Patterns that need both partners never reach the room |
| How success looks | Higher relationship satisfaction, the outcome measured in a 2020 meta-analysis | Progress on the issue you brought, such as calmer anxiety or a clear decision |
| Scheduling | Two calendars have to line up | One calendar |
| Online example | Talkspace couples plan, or ReGain | BetterHelp |
The cost row shows a range for couples sessions only. Our sources give a 2026 range for out-of-pocket couples sessions in the US and no matching figure for individual sessions. Ask each therapist’s office for its per-session fee before you book, and ask whether your insurance covers it with a copay.
Our sources include outcome evidence on couples therapy only. A 2020 meta-analysis by Roddy, Walsh, Rothman, Hatch and Doss in the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology found large improvements in relationship satisfaction for treated couples, while waitlisted couples did not improve to a statistically meaningful degree. That result is an average across couples who attended joint therapy, and it says nothing about individual therapy either way.
How to Tell Which One You Are In
You can tell which format fits by answering five questions in order, starting with safety. Answer them alone first, then with your partner if that feels safe.
- Are you safe with your partner? If your partner threatens you, hurts you, controls your money or phone, or you change what you say because you are scared, skip joint sessions for now. Couples counseling is usually not recommended while abuse is happening. Call the Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or text START to 88788 and ask an advocate about individual support.
- Will both of you come? A yes that keeps turning into canceled appointments works like a no. If only one of you will go, start individual therapy now and keep the offer of joint sessions open.
- Where does the problem sit? Signs it sits between you include the same argument every week, days of silence after a fight, or no longer believing what your partner tells you. Signs it sits mostly in one person include anxiety on calm days, old trauma that floods you in ordinary moments, or a partner who seems fine while you are not.
- Is infidelity part of it? Couples therapy can take on an affair when both of you want to try. If one of you is still hiding something, read the secrets section below before booking anything joint.
- Are you stuck on whether to stay? That question belongs to one person, so individual therapy is the better first room. Take the should I stay quiz and bring your answers to that first session.
If your answers point to both formats, you can run them together. The section on running both formats explains how to handle what each therapist knows.
When Joint Sessions Are Not Safe
Couples therapy is usually not recommended while abuse is happening, so individual support plus an advocate is the route when you are afraid of your partner.
Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or text START to 88788. Tell the advocate what has been happening and ask what kind of support fits your situation. A therapist you see alone can work alongside that advocate.
If you are unsure whether what is happening counts as abuse, our guides to signs of a toxic relationship and trauma bonds describe the patterns as behaviors you can check against your own week. If the low days include thoughts of hurting yourself, call or text the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988. In an emergency, call 911.
Infidelity in Couples Therapy vs Individual Therapy
Couples therapy can take on infidelity, and one clinical trial links getting the affair into the open with faster progress. In a trial of 134 couples in behavioral couple therapy, run by Atkins, Eldridge, Baucom and Christensen, 19 couples were dealing with infidelity. Those 19 started out more distressed, and the ones whose affair was disclosed before or during therapy improved at a faster rate than the other couples.
That subgroup is small and the authors call the finding exploratory, so treat it as one trial’s result about 19 couples. It does not promise anything about your relationship. It does give you a reason to settle the disclosure question early instead of carrying a hidden affair into joint sessions.
Individual therapy has a place on both sides of an affair. The partner who strayed can work out whether and how to disclose. The partner who was hurt can sort through the shock before deciding whether to stay.
If the two of you disagree about whether it was an affair at all, start with what counts as cheating or our guide to an emotional affair. When you are both ready for joint work, read how to rebuild a relationship after cheating together before the first couples session.
Running Both Formats at Once
You can do couples therapy and individual therapy at the same time, and some people do both. One way to split it: you work on your own anxiety in individual sessions while the two of you work on the weekly fight together. Your partner can do the same with their own therapist.
Tell each therapist that you are seeing the other. That way neither one is surprised when something from the other room comes up.
The Secrets Question
Running both formats raises one hard question: what happens when you tell your individual therapist something your partner does not know. Before your first joint session, ask the couples therapist what they do if one partner shares a secret privately, whether by phone, by email or in a solo session. Get that answer before you need it.
If you are holding a secret that touches the relationship, such as an affair, decide with your individual therapist whether, when and how to raise it. The Atkins trial links disclosure before or during couple therapy with faster improvement for that small group. That finding is a reason to make the decision on purpose instead of letting the secret sit.
Online Couples and Individual Options
Online services split the two formats in different ways, so match the service to the format you picked. BetterHelp’s couples therapy page states that BetterHelp provides individual therapy and offers joint couples sessions through its sister service, ReGain. Talkspace offers couples therapy for two adults, starting at $436 per month without insurance as of 2026, according to Talkspace’s own pricing page, for up to four live sessions plus unlimited messaging. Prices change, so check current pricing.
Confirm the current plan price on Talkspace’s site before you sign up. Our guide to online couples therapy goes further on choosing a service.
Military Couples and Military OneSource
Service members and their families can get free, confidential non-medical counseling through Military OneSource, up to 12 sessions per issue, though confidentiality has limits. You can call 24/7 at 800-342-9647. When you call, say whether you want sessions together or on your own and ask which fits your issue.
The 12-session cap is per issue, so plan what you want to work on. If your own stress and the relationship feel like separate problems, ask whether each counts as its own issue.
Asking a Reluctant Partner
Ask for couples therapy at a calm moment, frame it around the relationship, and make a small, specific request. Skip the hour right after a fight. These lines give you a starting point for each common answer.
- To open: “I miss how we used to talk. Would you try three couples sessions with me and then decide?”
- If they say nothing is wrong: “Maybe it feels fine to you. It doesn’t feel fine to me, and I want help figuring out why.”
- If they expect to be blamed: “I’m not looking for a therapist to take my side. I want someone to help both of us hear each other.”
- If they worry about cost: “Sessions out of pocket commonly run about $100 to $250. Let’s see what our insurance covers, or look at an online plan.”
- If the answer is still no: “Okay. I’m going to start seeing someone on my own, and the offer stays open.”
Our guide on how to communicate in a relationship has more ways to start a hard conversation. If a direct ask feels too big, relationship check-in questions give you a lower-pressure way to raise how things are going.
Which One Fits Your Situation
Neither format wins for everyone, and the right choice follows where the problem sits and who will show up.
- Couples therapy fits you if both of you will attend, nobody is afraid of the other, and the trouble is between you, such as a weekly fight, a trust gap after an affair, or days of silence after arguments.
- Individual therapy fits you if your partner will not come, the problem is mostly yours to work on, or you are deciding whether to stay.
- Individual support plus an advocate fits you if you are afraid of your partner. Call the Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or text START to 88788.
- Both at once fits you if each of you has your own work and you also share a pattern, or if an affair needs private sorting and joint repair.
Couples therapy is usually not recommended while abuse is happening. Start with the Hotline and individual support instead.
What Would Change Our Advice
Our advice would change if your situation changes, and four shifts would move it.
- If threats, abuse or fear show up during couples therapy, stop the joint sessions and move to individual support and an advocate.
- If a partner who refused agrees to come, add couples therapy alongside your individual work instead of replacing it.
- If you decide to leave, individual therapy keeps going and the couples question closes.
- If larger trials than the Atkins subgroup of 19 couples showed a different pattern for infidelity, we would rewrite the infidelity advice to match.
If you are weighing couples therapy vs individual therapy right now, take the should I stay quiz and book one first session in the format your answers point to.