The best things to do in a long distance relationship are activities you do at the same time, because they give a call something to be about. Cook the same recipe on video, watch a film in sync or play a game. At Love Answers, we write guides for long-distance couples, and the 50 ideas below are sorted by how much energy and time each one takes.
A shared activity changes how a call feels. Instead of trading updates, you react to the same scene or the same move, which is closer to being in the same room. For a random pick filtered by budget, try the date night picker.
Things to Do in a Long-Distance Relationship, Sorted by Energy
Things to do in a long-distance relationship fall into four groups: low-energy hangouts, virtual dates, games and offline rituals. Pick one from each group for the next month and you will have a different kind of week every week.
| Energy level | Time on a call | Examples |
|---|---|---|
| Low | Any length, often silent | Study together, fall asleep on a call, eat breakfast together |
| Medium | 45 to 90 minutes | Watch a film in sync, cook the same recipe, play a turn-based game |
| High | 2 hours or more | Themed date night, a virtual museum tour, a multiplayer game night |
| No call needed | None | Letters, a shared journal, a book club for two, voice notes |
Low-Energy Things to Do on a Call
Low-energy activities let long-distance couples spend time together on nights when neither of you has much to say. They make the call feel like sitting on the same couch.
- Keep a video call open while you both study or work.
- Eat breakfast or dinner together, even if it is a different meal in each time zone.
- Fall asleep on a call.
- Fold laundry or clean your rooms together.
- Listen to the same playlist in sync with Spotify Jam.
- Walk around your neighborhoods on a call and show each other your favorite street.
- Read a book aloud to each other, one chapter a night.
- Do a puzzle or coloring page at the same time.
Virtual Date Ideas
A virtual date has a start time, a plan and something you both do. An ordinary call usually has none of those. Dress up for at least one a month.
- Cook the same recipe at the same time and eat together.
- Order food delivery to each other’s door as a surprise.
- Watch a film in sync with a watch-together app.
- Take an online class together, such as cooking, drawing or a language.
- Do a virtual museum or zoo tour and pick a favorite exhibit each.
- Hold a wine, coffee or chocolate tasting with the same three items.
- Have a themed night, such as Italian food with Italian music.
- Stream a live concert or comedy show together.
- Plan your dream trip together with a shared map.
- Recreate your first date as closely as you can over video.
- Have a spa night with face masks and a slow playlist.
- Go stargazing at the same time and describe what you see.
The date night picker includes long-distance dates filtered by budget and energy, and our date night ideas list has more you can adapt.
Games for Long-Distance Couples
Games give long-distance couples a shared goal, which takes pressure off conversation on quiet nights. Turn-based games help when your time zones barely overlap.
- Play a slow game of chess on Chess.com, one move at a time across days.
- Play party games from Jackbox Games with your screen shared on a call.
- Play a co-op video game while you talk on voice chat.
- Play “would you rather” with silly and serious questions.
- Play 20 questions about your favorite memories together.
- Run a trivia night about each other.
- Play online Pictionary-style drawing games.
- Play the same word puzzle each day and compare scores.
- Play “two truths and a lie” with stories from your childhood.
- Build something together in a sandbox game.
The couples question generator gives you question-game prompts by mood and depth, and our couples games guide has more that need no app.
Deep-Conversation Nights
Question nights help long-distance couples learn something new about each other, which matters more when you cannot see each other’s routines. In a diary study by Jiang and Hancock, published by the Stanford Social Media Lab, couples apart reported more intimacy, partly because they disclosed more about themselves.
- Work through the “36 questions” from a 1997 study by Arthur Aron and colleagues. In that study, strangers who took turns with the questions reported feeling closer. Greater Good in Action at UC Berkeley hosts the list.
- Answer deep questions about childhood, fears and hopes.
- Have a monthly check-in about what is working and what is hard.
- Share a song that explains how you feel this week.
- Tell each other about a day you would relive.
- Describe your ideal ordinary Tuesday once you live together.
Things to Do Without a Video Call
Offline activities let long-distance partners stay connected when schedules or time zones rule out a live call. They also leave something to find later, which a call cannot.
- Write and mail handwritten letters.
- Make a set of open when letters.
- Keep a shared journal you mail back and forth.
- Read the same book and text each other your favorite lines.
- Send a voice note every morning.
- Start a shared photo album of your days.
- Mail a care package with a theme.
- Make each other playlists.
- Plant the same plant and compare progress.
- Start a shared savings goal for your next visit.
Things to Plan for Your Next Visit
Planning the next visit together is one of the most useful things long-distance couples can do, because it gives both of you a date to look toward. A 2007 study by Stafford and Merolla, reported by Pacific Standard, suggests couples with longer gaps between visits were less stable once they reunited.
- Make a shared list of restaurants and places to try.
- Plan one ordinary day on the visit, with errands and cooking, so you see each other’s real routines.
- Count down on a shared widget or calendar.
- Book one special activity in advance so the trip has a highlight.
Match the Activity to Your Time Zone Gap
The size of your time zone gap decides which activities work on a normal weekday. Use this as a guide.
| Time zone gap | Works on weekdays | Save for weekends |
|---|---|---|
| 0 to 3 hours | Dinner dates, film nights, live games | Long themed dates, classes |
| 4 to 8 hours | Breakfast for one, dinner for the other, voice notes | Film nights, cooking dates |
| 9 hours or more | Turn-based games, voice notes, letters, shared journal | One long live date at a time you both choose |
With a gap of nine hours or more, plan fewer, longer live dates and keep up voice notes and letters in between. Our guide on how to make a long-distance relationship work covers how to set a contact rhythm you both like.
When Activities Are Not Enough
Activities help long-distance couples enjoy their time, but they cannot fix a missing plan for the future. If dates feel forced, the question may be when the distance ends rather than what to do on Friday. Talk about that directly, and read our guide on whether long-distance relationships work. Military couples on deployment often have little or no live contact, so the deployment relationship guide is a better fit for them.
Pick one idea from each section above, put them on a shared calendar for the next four weeks, and you have a month of things to do in a long distance relationship already planned.