Attachment Style Quiz: Which Style Are You?

How the Attachment Style Quiz Is Scored

Each of the 24 statements uses a five-point scale, from “Strongly disagree” (1) to “Strongly agree” (5). Twelve statements feed your anxiety score and twelve feed your avoidance score. The quiz averages each set, so both scores run from 1 to 5.

Seven statements are reverse-scored, which means agreeing lowers your score. “I rarely worry that a partner will leave me” counts against anxiety. “Being close to someone feels natural and good to me” counts against avoidance. Reverse items catch people who agree with everything out of habit.

The midpoint of each scale is 3. A score above 3.0 counts as high, and 3.0 or below counts as low. The quiz needs at least 20 answers, and any statement you skip drops out of the average.

Where the Two Scales Come From

Attachment theory was developed by British psychiatrist John Bowlby, and Mary Ainsworth’s Strange Situation procedure, published in 1978, studied attachment in infants. Hazan and Shaver first applied the theory to adult romantic love in 1987. In their newspaper-survey sample, about 56% described themselves as secure, 25% as avoidant and 19% as anxious. That was one 1987 sample of people who chose to answer a quiz, so it does not describe adults today.

In 1991, Bartholomew and Horowitz proposed four adult styles built from two views: a positive or negative view of yourself, and a positive or negative view of other people. Later researchers turned those views into two scales. The ECR-R (Experiences in Close Relationships, Revised), published by Fraley, Waller and Brennan in 2000, has 36 items split into an 18-item anxiety scale and an 18-item avoidance scale. On the ECR-R, security means scoring low on both.

Our quiz copies that two-scale structure and none of the ECR-R items. Fraley’s ECR-R page says the scales are free for non-commercial research and need permission for commercial use, so we wrote our own statements. The tradeoff is that our items have not been validated, which is why the result is a starting point. You cannot compare it with a score from a study.

What Your Result Means and Does Not Mean

Your result describes a lean. A 3.1 and a 4.8 on anxiety both read as “high”, yet they describe very different experiences, so look at the two numbers on your result card as well as the label. Scores close to 3.0 on either scale mean you sit near the line between two styles.

A neutral-heavy quiz gives a weak answer. If you answered “Neutral” to most statements, both averages land near 3.0, and a score of exactly 3.0 reads as low, which shows as secure even when it may not fit. Retake it and choose agree or disagree wherever you can.

Your style can also differ by relationship and change over time. Researchers call one version of this “earned security”: adults who describe hard early relationships with parents but now talk about attachment in a secure, coherent way, a pattern Pearson and colleagues described in 1994.

The fearful-avoidant result is often called “disorganized” online. The original disorganized category, introduced by Main and Solomon in 1986, classifies infants, so the two terms are related but not identical. We use both names because readers search for both.

What to Do With Your Attachment Style Result

Each result points to a full guide. Start with the one that matches, then try the first step listed here this week.

• Secure: read secure attachment. Your next step is noticing what you already do well, such as asking directly for what you need, so you can keep doing it under stress.
• Anxious: read anxious attachment. When a slow reply sets off worry, wait 20 minutes before you send a second message, and write down what you feared would happen.
• Avoidant: read avoidant attachment. Notice the moment you want to change the subject or leave the room, and tell your partner you need a short break and will come back.
• Fearful-avoidant: read disorganized attachment. This pattern is often linked to past hurt, and a trauma-informed therapist can help you sort the wanting from the fear.

If you are in a relationship, ask your partner to take the attachment style quiz separately and then compare scores. When one person scores high on anxiety and the other high on avoidance, one person’s reaching for closeness can set off the other’s pulling back, which sets off more reaching. Naming that loop out loud is easier with the tips in how to communicate in a relationship.

Once you know your lean, the attachment and red flags section explains how each style shows up in dating, conflict and breakups. Pick the guide for your result and read its first section tonight.